Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I find You when I fall Apart.

I have to say that this whole adoption experience has been very humbling.  I am a giver.  I give of myself, my time, and my money.  I'm not a materialistic person.  I put others needs before my own.  Being on the receiving end of advice and money is something that I am not used to.  I feel very much out of my comfort zone.  A sweet friend of mine recently donated $500 to our adoption.  They are not financially wealthy.  They are wealthy with love of Christ.  It took everything in me to say, "Oh no, that is a kind gesture but it is way too much money."  God had to sit me down and say, "You asked, I provided." 

Finances haven't been the only humbling experience.  I am learning more and more each day that this is not about what I want.  A few days ago I received a phone call from our sweet case worker at LBB.  I could tell by her voice something was wrong.  I had been dreading the phone call from her because I knew the money just wasn't going to be ready.  She told me that after getting more information about the sweet little girl, our Zola, that they would be unable to place her in our family because she needs to be the youngest child.  God had been preparing me for this moment.   God said to me, "Stop pushing.  Your Zola is waiting for you.  Be Patient.  It is My time.  My Plan."  We are on the top of a waiting list and more children have just arrived. It is our hope to accept a waiting child.  I know it will only be a matter of time until we see our sweet girl's face.  And I know when that happens that God will open doors that I didn't even know existed.  Until then we will enjoy our last Christmas as a family of 3. 

~Tara~

Psalm 46:10- Be Still, and know that I am God. 

1 comment:

  1. As for God, His way perfect. Psalm 18:30

    I'm so sorry that it didn't work out for that precious little girl to be your Zola but I'm so thankful that you are pressing forward to find her. Adoption is so difficult and messy. But even in the messiness, God is still sovereign and He works all things together for the good of those who love him and are called according to His purpose.

    Praying for His blessings upon your adoption, a prayer I know will be answered. :)

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