Tuesday, October 28, 2014

It's Been a While

To those who stumble upon this blog via google searches, or maybe even social media I'm sure you've noticed something. I stink at being a blogger. It's been months since I've written. Since I've been able to write. So much has happened. God has broken me and put me back together again. I've been given a new perspective. I have a day off today. I'm enjoying the beautiful fall colors, the crisp air, sound of rain drops, and the calm, quiet sound of a house without children :)

I originally started this blog for people to keep up with our adoption from Ethiopia. I had no plans on expanding our family any time soon. But God wrecked those plans. We have been given the privilege of being parents to a beautiful, broken 8 year old girl. Trauma. Multiple placements. Behavior. Attachment disorder. Institutionalized. And some would say too far gone to be in a family. Here's what we see: Trauma. Beauty. Redemption. A soul worth saving. A child worth loving. A NEED to belong.  It's been 6 months since her placement and to say it has been hard would be an enormous understatement. We've been in the trenches. And that's what trauma parents do.

 My eyes have been opened to a world I knew nothing about. As a mental health professional I thought I got it. I could pat the trauma mamma's on the back and offer support and advice. But I had NO idea what they were feeling. I had no idea that in Southern Indiana such few resources are available to children of trauma. Support services for parents are minimal.  And our mental health facilities for adults are meanwhile being overwhelmed by an influx of adults who never got the services they needed as children. I've spent time being angry. Angry at the system. Angry at her previous parents. Angry at her residential facility. Angry at God for asking us to do this. I felt like my joy was robbed and this burden was too much to bear.  After months of feeling this way I now have peace and joy. I have a purpose. My job on this earth is to love my children. To mold them into children of God. And to be an advocate. A section of this blog is going to be dedicated to our story of healing and redemption. Her story. Well, parts of her story. It's hers to tell. And I know God will use her.

"Be still, and know that I am God."
Psalm 46:10

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